Getting In Charge of Stress

The first step in managing stress is to figure out what you can eliminate, delegate, or change. Stress can make you feel powerless - as if you have no choices - but you probably have a lot more power than you think. What can you let go or hire out? Where do you need to ask for help? What changes can you make in everyday routines that might make life a little easier? I know one woman who de-stressed her mornings considerably just by deciding the night before what she was going to wear the next day and then getting up 15 minutes earlier to actually enjoy her cup of coffee instead of gulping it down in the car.

Take a close look at how you manage tasks as you move through the day and get creative in thinking about how you might do it differently. To be creative, you'll need to use fresh eyes: view things from the outside in as if you're an expert who's been called in to do an extreme make-over on your life. You may be surprised by your own expertise.

Same Old, Same Old

The complaint is as familiar as the start-up routine itself - a predictable set of moves used to get things going between the sheets: "It's the hand moving up and down my back, followed by a grab of my boob and humping me from behind. Why can't he ever change it up a little? Even if I was interested in sex, the same old tired groping ends up turning me off! If he just kissed me on the back of the neck and maybe stroked my hair, I'd get turned on a lot faster. I've tried talking to him about it, but he always gets angry."

And it's not just the start-up routine that lacks variety. How many of you are craving something other than the usual 5-10 minutes of touching and rubbing followed by intercourse in the same one or two positions? Maybe you've gotten lazy - or maybe you're greeted with the big chill when you bring out the furry handcuffs or suggest playing out a nurse/patient fantasy.


There's a certain comfort in predictability - and sometimes a quickie fits the bill perfectly- but novelty is what keeps things interesting and exciting. If you know every move your partner is going to make before they make it (and they know your moves, as well), it's time to do something - ANYTHING - different. Use your imagination. Change positions, change locations, change the start-up, change what you're wearing, change roles. It might take a little more time and energy, but it's easier than changing partners.