The great majority of sexual fantasies remain just that - fantasies. Just because you fantasize about sex with your 18-year-old babysitter or you imagine having an army of personal sex slaves doesn't mean you're going to act out those fantasies. Most people use sexual fantasies as a way to spice up their sex life or as an accompaniment to masturbation. But is there a risk to fantasizing?
The primary downside to fantasizing - particularly when it isn't shared with a partner - is that it can be a barrier to intimacy. When you're involved in a mental screen play while engaging in sex with your partner, you're not really present. It may be one of the reasons that so many people prefer making love with the lights out and their eyes closed - it allows the world of fantasy to come to life. Some people don't even want sound intruding into their private fantasy world and may go so far as to ask their partner to be silent during sex. It's not surprising that a lover may feel objectified and 'cheated on' if their partner is starring in their own personal and private sex scene.
Fantasizing can also be problematic when it is compulsive or becomes the only way that a person can get turned on or function sexually. An over-reliance on fantasy during sex or a preference for masturbating to a fantasy over sex with a partner creates distance in relationships and often induces shame and guilt.
For the most part, fantasies are harmless. Just be sure you're not missing out on the real thing.
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