Expanding Your Notion of Desire

Differences in desire often spark intense conflict, tension, and resentment because of the meaning that people attach to desire. Here are some ideas to consider that might expand your thinking:

(From Intimacy and Desire by David Schnarch)

• Your brain, body, mind, and relationship are one whole system in which sexual desire plays a key role. Problems with sexual desire and struggles of selfhood go hand in hand in love relationships.
• Developing and maintaining a solid sense of self greatly shapes your sexual desire. Your reflected sense of self and solid self often outweigh horniness, hormones, or your desire for intimacy and attachment.