A long flannel nightgown is a pretty clear message that a woman isn't ready for sex. But buying her an uncomfortable lace teddy and a garter belt isn't going to change her mind - especially if she has body-image issues. The key here: make her comfortable. Start slowly. Buy her a pair of flannel boxers and a cotton tank top. She feels the comfort - you see some skin.
As for you, maybe it's time to retire the ripped Megadeth T-shirt. Get some plain dark-colored T's, switch to boxer briefs, and see what happens. Attention to your own appearance sends a positive signal.
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