Tantric Yoga is an ancient sexual practice designed to improve sex and increase duration. Although the name might sound daunting, there are a number of tantric yoga practices that you can incorporate to easily improve sexual stamina.
1. Relax and increase your body awareness: focus on breathing, not by controlling it, but just through noticing it.
2. Focus on pleasure in sex rather than sexual performance. Let the sexual experience be the ultimate teacher. You can not find pleasure in sex if you aren’t open to learning from your body and your partner.
3. Increase awareness of your sexual arousal. Pay close attention to your arousal levels. Open your awareness to all feelings of pleasure.
4. Stop thinking. Drop your conscious mind out of the picture. Investigate or experiment with techniques to get your internal dialogue to shut down.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Bad Sex? Do It Again!
No matter how much you love your partner and find them physically attractive, there will be times when sex isn’t very fulfilling. Emotional issues, physical illness, and stress are just a few of the things that take our mind off of sex and out of the bedroom.
If you find that your sex life has been dragging a little, it's important not to over-respond. Talk about the issue with your partner, try to bring more peace and health into your life, and remember that sex, like anything else, is cyclical. Every day provides a new opportunity to have great, satisfying sex and to increase intimacy. Focus on the present and not on the past.
If you find that your sex life has been dragging a little, it's important not to over-respond. Talk about the issue with your partner, try to bring more peace and health into your life, and remember that sex, like anything else, is cyclical. Every day provides a new opportunity to have great, satisfying sex and to increase intimacy. Focus on the present and not on the past.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Welcome, Charlie!!
Tonight I'm less focused on sex and more focused on one of the possible outcomes of sex - a baby! This morning I became a grandmother for the first time when my son and his wife welcomed a 7-pound baby boy into the world. What incredible joy!
I wish every child could be as wanted and loved and celebrated as Charlie has been today. So my post today is not only to announce Charlie's birth but also to advocate for sex education that promotes responsible sexual behavior, including the use of birth control when a baby is not wanted.
I wish every child could be as wanted and loved and celebrated as Charlie has been today. So my post today is not only to announce Charlie's birth but also to advocate for sex education that promotes responsible sexual behavior, including the use of birth control when a baby is not wanted.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
More Foods for Sex
Here are three more foods that may affect hormone levels, brain chemistry, and energy - all of which may heighten arousal and sex drive:
Avocado: Avocados are loaded with minerals, monounsaturated fats and vitamin B6 - all of which help keep your energy and sex drive up. They're also a top source of omega-3 fatty acids, which naturally boost your mood, making you more likely to be interested in some action in the bedroom.
Chile Peppers: These hot items may heat up more than your mouth. The capsaicin in chile peppers is a chemical that's been shown to induce the release of endorphins in the brain. Those endorphins create a feeling of euphoria which may lead to hotter sex.
Licorice: This candy is thought to mimic the effects of estrogen and progesterone, critical hormones for normal reproductive and sexual function. Eating it may help you get in the mood. It can also reduce the symptoms of PMS.
Avocado: Avocados are loaded with minerals, monounsaturated fats and vitamin B6 - all of which help keep your energy and sex drive up. They're also a top source of omega-3 fatty acids, which naturally boost your mood, making you more likely to be interested in some action in the bedroom.
Chile Peppers: These hot items may heat up more than your mouth. The capsaicin in chile peppers is a chemical that's been shown to induce the release of endorphins in the brain. Those endorphins create a feeling of euphoria which may lead to hotter sex.
Licorice: This candy is thought to mimic the effects of estrogen and progesterone, critical hormones for normal reproductive and sexual function. Eating it may help you get in the mood. It can also reduce the symptoms of PMS.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Eating for Sex
Although there isn’t concrete scientific evidence that foods act as aphrodisiacs, anecdotal evidence is peruasive. Here are some foods that may increase your appetite for sex:
Walnuts: These bite-sized powerhouses are full of omega-3 fatty acids and can improve your immune system while getting you in the mood for love.
Chocolate: Dark chocolate, in particular, is known to have properties that both relax and stimulate lovers, while also lowering blood pressure and reducing the risk of heart disease.
Seafood: Shellfish, like oysters, and oily fish, like salmon and tuna, contain calcium, vitamin B and phosphorous—all essential elements for a healthy sex drive.
Strawberries: These heart-shaped fruits contain vitamin C, folate and potassium, and are bite-sized so you can easily feed them to your lover.
Red Wine: The alcohol relaxes you while the antioxidants improve your heart health. Of course, don’t drink to excess—cap your serving at one to two glasses.
Asparagus: Yes, that phallic green vegetable is full of vitamin E, believed to increase the production of sex hormones in men and women.
A few more foods tomorrow...
Walnuts: These bite-sized powerhouses are full of omega-3 fatty acids and can improve your immune system while getting you in the mood for love.
Chocolate: Dark chocolate, in particular, is known to have properties that both relax and stimulate lovers, while also lowering blood pressure and reducing the risk of heart disease.
Seafood: Shellfish, like oysters, and oily fish, like salmon and tuna, contain calcium, vitamin B and phosphorous—all essential elements for a healthy sex drive.
Strawberries: These heart-shaped fruits contain vitamin C, folate and potassium, and are bite-sized so you can easily feed them to your lover.
Red Wine: The alcohol relaxes you while the antioxidants improve your heart health. Of course, don’t drink to excess—cap your serving at one to two glasses.
Asparagus: Yes, that phallic green vegetable is full of vitamin E, believed to increase the production of sex hormones in men and women.
A few more foods tomorrow...
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Cleanliness Before Sexiness
As most of you probably know, something as simple as physical hygiene can make or break the mood. Create a habit of tending to these personal hygiene issues and you might find that you’ll be more ready for your next sexual encounter. You might also have a more interested partner.
Brush and Floss your teeth - often. Use mouthwash or a water pick if necessary.
Shower before climbing under the sheets - even if you normally shower in the morning. It only takes 5 minutes and often makes a huge difference to your partner.
Wear clean, sexy undergarments.
Clean your ears - and trim any stray hairs.
Cut your toenails.
It all sounds pretty basic, but it's easy to get lazy about simple hygiene when you're with a long-term partner. Don't make the mistake of turning off your partner's desire by ignoring the basics.
Brush and Floss your teeth - often. Use mouthwash or a water pick if necessary.
Shower before climbing under the sheets - even if you normally shower in the morning. It only takes 5 minutes and often makes a huge difference to your partner.
Wear clean, sexy undergarments.
Clean your ears - and trim any stray hairs.
Cut your toenails.
It all sounds pretty basic, but it's easy to get lazy about simple hygiene when you're with a long-term partner. Don't make the mistake of turning off your partner's desire by ignoring the basics.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Take a Sex Break
Sometimes the greatest way to put sex on the mind is to actually take sex off your to-do list. Instead of having sex, try anticipating a future sexual encounter with your partner. Watch an erotic video on a Friday night, have a leisurely breakfast on Saturday morning, and perhaps take a nap later that afternoon.
Ask for your partner's cooperation in creating an opportunity to enjoy intimacy without feeling any pressure for sex. You might find that when you take sex off your list of things you NEED to do, it might magically reappear on your lists of things you WANT to do.
Ask for your partner's cooperation in creating an opportunity to enjoy intimacy without feeling any pressure for sex. You might find that when you take sex off your list of things you NEED to do, it might magically reappear on your lists of things you WANT to do.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Increasing Orgasmic Potential Cont.'
Here's the last 3 tips for easier and better orgasms:
Play with Toys: Sex toys, and vibrators in particular, often make it easy to reach orgasm. Try incorporating sex toys into your experience with your partner to add stimulation and create a playful, relaxed atmosphere.
Get Wet: Water can be very erotic and can add an element of fun to sex. Experiment with having sex in the shower or a hot tub. Use lubrication during penetration. Try anything that might add another level of physical arousal.
Check your health: If you are concerned about your ability to orgasm or the quality of your sexual experience, it's always a good idea to check your health. Overall good physical health can greatly increase the chance of sexual satisfaction.
Play with Toys: Sex toys, and vibrators in particular, often make it easy to reach orgasm. Try incorporating sex toys into your experience with your partner to add stimulation and create a playful, relaxed atmosphere.
Get Wet: Water can be very erotic and can add an element of fun to sex. Experiment with having sex in the shower or a hot tub. Use lubrication during penetration. Try anything that might add another level of physical arousal.
Check your health: If you are concerned about your ability to orgasm or the quality of your sexual experience, it's always a good idea to check your health. Overall good physical health can greatly increase the chance of sexual satisfaction.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Increasing Orgasmic Potential Cont.
Today and tomorrow I'll continue to post on ideas for facilitating orgasms.
Tense and Relax: During sexual arousal and orgasm, it's not unual to unintentionally isolate parts of the body and tense and relax only those areas. Play with your body’s signals by focusing on muscle tension. Try tensing and then relaxing different areas to build better orgasms.
Fantasy: If you're someone who doesn’t tend to fantasize much, you might want to incorporate more fantasy into your sexual repertoire. The brain plays as much of a role in orgasm as the body, so engaging in more fantasy can lead to greater ease in achieving orgasm as well as more intense orgasms.
Tense and Relax: During sexual arousal and orgasm, it's not unual to unintentionally isolate parts of the body and tense and relax only those areas. Play with your body’s signals by focusing on muscle tension. Try tensing and then relaxing different areas to build better orgasms.
Fantasy: If you're someone who doesn’t tend to fantasize much, you might want to incorporate more fantasy into your sexual repertoire. The brain plays as much of a role in orgasm as the body, so engaging in more fantasy can lead to greater ease in achieving orgasm as well as more intense orgasms.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Increasing Orgasmic Potential Cont.'
Here are some more tips for stronger orgasms:
Find your line: Many people report that orgasms resulting from a slow build-up of arousal are more powerful than quickie orgasms. Start by figuring out where your line is - that point at which you go over the top and have an orgasm. What are the sensations that signal this point? See if you can stop, change focus, and extend your sexual response cycle.
Exercise your pelvis: I've written before on the value of strengthening the pelvic floor muscles through exercise, namely Kegels. The stronger the pelvic floor and the more toned the muscles, the greater the potential for more explosive orgasms.
Try something new: Orgasm is a full body experience. By focusing solely on the genitals, the body isn’t incorporating sexual responses from other areas which might increase the ability to orgasm.
Find your line: Many people report that orgasms resulting from a slow build-up of arousal are more powerful than quickie orgasms. Start by figuring out where your line is - that point at which you go over the top and have an orgasm. What are the sensations that signal this point? See if you can stop, change focus, and extend your sexual response cycle.
Exercise your pelvis: I've written before on the value of strengthening the pelvic floor muscles through exercise, namely Kegels. The stronger the pelvic floor and the more toned the muscles, the greater the potential for more explosive orgasms.
Try something new: Orgasm is a full body experience. By focusing solely on the genitals, the body isn’t incorporating sexual responses from other areas which might increase the ability to orgasm.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Increasing Orgasmic Potential
Over the last three days I've discussed different types of orgasms. I'm going to follow-up on this discussion by sharing some tips on how to explore your sexual responsiveness and increase your orgasmic potential.
1. Start by breathing: Orgasm has the potential to be a full body experience, and breath provides the foundation of the experience. You can build on your orgasms by playing with your breathing. Hold your breath, take quick breaths, breath in slowly-all have the potential to increase orgasm, depending on your body’s response.
2. Move your body: You can change your orgasm by changing how much you move and what parts of your body you move. Start by paying attention to how your body moves during sex and at the point of orgasm. Experiment with sexual positions and different kinds of movement while paying attention to what feels good.
More tips tomorrow...
1. Start by breathing: Orgasm has the potential to be a full body experience, and breath provides the foundation of the experience. You can build on your orgasms by playing with your breathing. Hold your breath, take quick breaths, breath in slowly-all have the potential to increase orgasm, depending on your body’s response.
2. Move your body: You can change your orgasm by changing how much you move and what parts of your body you move. Start by paying attention to how your body moves during sex and at the point of orgasm. Experiment with sexual positions and different kinds of movement while paying attention to what feels good.
More tips tomorrow...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Orgasm Primer Cont.'
OK - Here's two more kinds of orgasm you might want to explore:
G-Spot Orgasms: G-Spot orgasms are achieved by direct pressure and stimulation on the G-Spot during vaginal penetration. Many women who experience G-Spot orgasms find that they can be different and more intense than other forms of orgasm.
Fantasy Orgasms: Although there is a debate regarding orgasm without stimulation, there have been several studies and years of anecdotal reports by women who have orgasms from mental fantasy alone. For many, fantasy increases sexual excitement and response, so it may be possible to orgasm without any physical contact. Of course it doesn't mean that something is wrong with you if you can't get off that easily. Most people require a little more than a fantasy to reach the point of orgasm. But the fact that it's possible for some does say something about the power of fantasy.
G-Spot Orgasms: G-Spot orgasms are achieved by direct pressure and stimulation on the G-Spot during vaginal penetration. Many women who experience G-Spot orgasms find that they can be different and more intense than other forms of orgasm.
Fantasy Orgasms: Although there is a debate regarding orgasm without stimulation, there have been several studies and years of anecdotal reports by women who have orgasms from mental fantasy alone. For many, fantasy increases sexual excitement and response, so it may be possible to orgasm without any physical contact. Of course it doesn't mean that something is wrong with you if you can't get off that easily. Most people require a little more than a fantasy to reach the point of orgasm. But the fact that it's possible for some does say something about the power of fantasy.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Orgasm Primer Cont.'
Here are a few more varieties of orgasms:
Relaxation Orgasms: Dodson describes this type of orgasm as coming not from a build up of tension, but from deep relaxation during sexual stimulation. You continue to release tension and relax your muscles until, eventually, the orgasm sneaks up on you.
Combination or Blended Orgasms: Ideally, orgasm is a fluid process. If sex play lasts long enough, you’ll get to enjoy more than one experience during orgasm, which is termed a combination orgasm. For Dodson, who has been teaching women to orgasm for over 30 years, combination orgasms involve a specific set of actions, including: “clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, PC muscle contractions, pelvic thrusting, and breathing out loud.”
Multiple Orgasms: While it is well known that women can have multiple orgasms, men are capable of having multiple orgasms, as well. Dodson distinguishes between multiple orgasms and the “aftershocks of pleasure” that follow a big orgasm. If you count the latter as orgasms, you might score 20 or 30 a night. Not exactly the norm for the big "O".
More tomorrow…
Relaxation Orgasms: Dodson describes this type of orgasm as coming not from a build up of tension, but from deep relaxation during sexual stimulation. You continue to release tension and relax your muscles until, eventually, the orgasm sneaks up on you.
Combination or Blended Orgasms: Ideally, orgasm is a fluid process. If sex play lasts long enough, you’ll get to enjoy more than one experience during orgasm, which is termed a combination orgasm. For Dodson, who has been teaching women to orgasm for over 30 years, combination orgasms involve a specific set of actions, including: “clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, PC muscle contractions, pelvic thrusting, and breathing out loud.”
Multiple Orgasms: While it is well known that women can have multiple orgasms, men are capable of having multiple orgasms, as well. Dodson distinguishes between multiple orgasms and the “aftershocks of pleasure” that follow a big orgasm. If you count the latter as orgasms, you might score 20 or 30 a night. Not exactly the norm for the big "O".
More tomorrow…
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Orgasm Primer
Orgasm isn't a new topic for these blogs, but over the course of the next week, I'll be discussing different types of orgasms in more detail and how to achieve them. Describing different types of orgasms is difficult since physical sensations can differ greatly from person to person. However, in Betty Dodson’s book, Orgasms for Two, she offers a practical breakdown of the different types of orgasms and how to achieve them.
Pressure Orgasms: This orgasm comes from indirect stimulation, no rubbing, but instead applying pressure. It can be achieved by leaning heavily against something or on something.
Tension Orgasms: This orgasm comes from direct and intense stimulation. It usually occurs by holding your body and muscles tight and holding your breath. Dodson considers this the most common type of orgasm because it can be reached quickly and offers an intense build up followed by a sudden release.
More tomorrow…
Pressure Orgasms: This orgasm comes from indirect stimulation, no rubbing, but instead applying pressure. It can be achieved by leaning heavily against something or on something.
Tension Orgasms: This orgasm comes from direct and intense stimulation. It usually occurs by holding your body and muscles tight and holding your breath. Dodson considers this the most common type of orgasm because it can be reached quickly and offers an intense build up followed by a sudden release.
More tomorrow…
Friday, July 10, 2009
Final Kissing Tip
There's a good website to visit if you're interested in more information on kissing. Go to www.theromantic.com/kissing/main.htm
This website contains 365 creative ideas to incorporate into your kissing, tips for kissing like a pro, and French kiss techniques. There are also stories - both humorous and romantic - about kissing, as well as kissing games. Everything you always wanted to know...
This website contains 365 creative ideas to incorporate into your kissing, tips for kissing like a pro, and French kiss techniques. There are also stories - both humorous and romantic - about kissing, as well as kissing games. Everything you always wanted to know...
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Meeting in the Middle
Kissing is a popular activity, so men and women have obviously bridged their differences to, literally, meet in the middle. The differences are pretty complementary - most relationships can use a boost in desire as well as connection, and soft, gentle kisses can easily evolve into a passionate exchange of tongues and saliva.
Women need to remember the role that oxytocin plays in kissing and let it work its magic following the next spat with their partner. Men would do well to remember the power of kisses to spark desire the next time they're interested in sex with their partner.
Kissing is a good barometer of how happy a couple is. And maybe if you're not particularly happy in your relationship, some good kissing could improve things. It's worth a try.
Women need to remember the role that oxytocin plays in kissing and let it work its magic following the next spat with their partner. Men would do well to remember the power of kisses to spark desire the next time they're interested in sex with their partner.
Kissing is a good barometer of how happy a couple is. And maybe if you're not particularly happy in your relationship, some good kissing could improve things. It's worth a try.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Women and Kissing
Men may use kissing to induce desire, but women use kissing to promote closeness. Kissing increases the levels of oxytocin, which encourages attachment and bonding. The novelty of kissing someone new may also release dopamine, which fosters romantic love.
Kissing is a kind of assessment tool for women, as well. Women can tell a lot about the state of their relationship by kissing their partner. And if they're trying to size up a partner at the beginning of a relationship, they prefer gentle, closed-mouth kisses. They don't need all that much saliva to assess compatibility.
Women prefer men with medium-size lips: thick enough to convey compassion and friendliness, but not so large as to appear feminine.
Women are less inclined to use kissing as a way to reconcile after a fight, and most women aren't crazy about the idea of sex without kissing.
Kissing is a kind of assessment tool for women, as well. Women can tell a lot about the state of their relationship by kissing their partner. And if they're trying to size up a partner at the beginning of a relationship, they prefer gentle, closed-mouth kisses. They don't need all that much saliva to assess compatibility.
Women prefer men with medium-size lips: thick enough to convey compassion and friendliness, but not so large as to appear feminine.
Women are less inclined to use kissing as a way to reconcile after a fight, and most women aren't crazy about the idea of sex without kissing.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Men and Kissing
Men often use kissing to turn on a woman's sexual desire. Unconsciously, they may also use kissing to figure out the level of estrogen in a woman's saliva to determine her stage in the ovulation cycle and her fertility. Maybe that's why men are more likely than women to initiate wet, open-mouthed, saliva-swapping kisses. Women may also be assessing compatibility, but a woman's senses of taste and smell are more acute, and she can get by with a smaller saliva sample.
Men are attracted to women with naturally large lips. Think Angelina Jolie and the trend toward collagen injections. Why is that? Lips enlarge and flush darker when you're aroused, so plump, red lips signal sexual interest. Most women probably don't think about that connection when they're applying their lipstick. Lip plumpness peaks at age 14 in females, so full lips are also associated with youth and good health.
Men tend to use kissing to smooth over conflicts, but are more willing than women to have sex without kissing. So what does kissing mean to women? I'll post on that tomorrow.
Men are attracted to women with naturally large lips. Think Angelina Jolie and the trend toward collagen injections. Why is that? Lips enlarge and flush darker when you're aroused, so plump, red lips signal sexual interest. Most women probably don't think about that connection when they're applying their lipstick. Lip plumpness peaks at age 14 in females, so full lips are also associated with youth and good health.
Men tend to use kissing to smooth over conflicts, but are more willing than women to have sex without kissing. So what does kissing mean to women? I'll post on that tomorrow.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Kissing - What It's Really About
Did you know that the testosterone in saliva can help trigger your sex drive? It doesn't hurt, of course, that your highly sensitive lips and tongue are also getting a workover. Basically, kissing activates romance, attachment, and sexual arousal - but that's not all it does.
Both men and women use kissing to assess genetic compatibility. That's why kissing someone new can be a major turn-on or can signal the beginning of the end. Scent plays a major role in determining compatibility, but saliva exchange may also play a role. According to Psychology Today, 66% of women and 59% of men have experienced a first kiss with a new person that instantly killed the attraction.
But men and women approach kissing differently. This week, I'll be posting on what kissing means for both sexes.
Both men and women use kissing to assess genetic compatibility. That's why kissing someone new can be a major turn-on or can signal the beginning of the end. Scent plays a major role in determining compatibility, but saliva exchange may also play a role. According to Psychology Today, 66% of women and 59% of men have experienced a first kiss with a new person that instantly killed the attraction.
But men and women approach kissing differently. This week, I'll be posting on what kissing means for both sexes.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Another Oldie
Recently I recommended the 1990 movie "Wild Orchid" as a boost for your erotic imagination. I decided to watch "9 1/2 Weeks" - another oldie that also stars Mickey Roarke. I'd seen it once before - probably 20 years ago - but I'd forgotten most of it. This time around, it didn't do much for me. Not that it didn't contain some pretty erotic scenes, but it revolved around Mickey's need for ever-escalating sexual stimulation and control.
When sexual activity becomes compulsive and/or controlling, it is no longer joyful and life-affirming. It contaminates intimacy in a relationship and creates distance rather than closeness. You might want to check out "9 1/2 Weeks" - for some erotic imagery as well as a lesson in the dangers of compulsive sexuality.
When sexual activity becomes compulsive and/or controlling, it is no longer joyful and life-affirming. It contaminates intimacy in a relationship and creates distance rather than closeness. You might want to check out "9 1/2 Weeks" - for some erotic imagery as well as a lesson in the dangers of compulsive sexuality.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Wild Orchid
My husband and I recently watched the movie "Wild Orchid", and I couldn't believe I'd missed out for so long. In case you've also missed this classic - made in 1990 - or even if it's just been a very long time since you've seen it, I want to encourage you to rent it or just look for it on one of the movie channels. It's an incredibly erotic movie that will give a boost to even the most lagging libidos.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
