When was the last time you gently stroked your partner's hair?
Giving your partner a head massage is one of the most sensual, soothing ways to seduce, show your love to or simply pamper your partner. Massaging the scalp helps lovers to relax and unwind together because it releases oxytocin, a stress-response hormone that produces a state of calm, especially in women.
It's great when relaxation is just what you need - but it's also a good prelude to something a little steamier.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Silent Films
Have you ever thought about watching porn without the sound? Men's Health suggests pushing the mute button and making up your own dialogue. Since the dialogue is usually pretty bad anyway, you won't be missing anything - and you and your partner can practice talking erotically. It's good for reducing inhibitions, and it's also fun if you add a playful element. It may even help reveal some secret fantasies.
If things start to heat up, you can turn off the set altogether and fill in more than just the dialogue!
If things start to heat up, you can turn off the set altogether and fill in more than just the dialogue!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Top Ten Reasons
Men's Health surveyed 1,000 women and combed through the latest research to narrow down the list of the following top ten reasons you're sex life may be lacking. You'll find most of the constraints of modern society--time demands, distractions, stress, energy levels.
1. Late-Night TV
Here's a disturbing set of statistics: Italian researchers found that people with a TV in the bedroom have half as much sex as those who don't. And yet, 64 percent of couples keep a set in the boudoir. Try getting rid of it. John Stewart won't mind.
"Getting it on is about putting the brain and body in a passionate state--TV does the opposite," says Heidi Raykeil, author of Confessions of a Naughty Mommy. Can't quit? Buy a DVR and watch your favorite shows on weekends.
More tomorrow...
1. Late-Night TV
Here's a disturbing set of statistics: Italian researchers found that people with a TV in the bedroom have half as much sex as those who don't. And yet, 64 percent of couples keep a set in the boudoir. Try getting rid of it. John Stewart won't mind.
"Getting it on is about putting the brain and body in a passionate state--TV does the opposite," says Heidi Raykeil, author of Confessions of a Naughty Mommy. Can't quit? Buy a DVR and watch your favorite shows on weekends.
More tomorrow...
Friday, September 25, 2009
Compliments
How often do you pay your partner a compliment? In long-term relationships, it's easy to get lazy about paying close attention to your partner and giving them positive feedback.
Try giving your partner at least 5 compliments a day for the next week, and see what difference it makes. When people feel noticed and appreciated, it increases a sense of connection. And the more connected partners feel, the more sexually interested they usually are. Compliment what your partner feels good about and cares about -- appearance, talents, work accomplishments, etc. A confident sex partner is an adventurous sex partner.
Try giving your partner at least 5 compliments a day for the next week, and see what difference it makes. When people feel noticed and appreciated, it increases a sense of connection. And the more connected partners feel, the more sexually interested they usually are. Compliment what your partner feels good about and cares about -- appearance, talents, work accomplishments, etc. A confident sex partner is an adventurous sex partner.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Things You Should Know About Sex Cont.'
36. He doesn't care if you haven't showered... (but if YOU do, it's only a 5 minute investment of time)
37. Romance can last forever...or at least for a long time. New research shows that long-term relationships can keep their sexual chemistry, intensity and engagement going strong. If they're missing the passion of short-term relationships, that's probably a good thing, according to new research from Stony Brook University in New York. That means they're also free of anxiety and insecurity.
38. It's not you…it's your hormones. How does perimenopause mess up your sex life? Let us count the ways: •Your period lasts forever: you bleed like a stuck pig for seven days, and stain for another three•Your sex drive has shriveled up•You're as dry as dust•Your mood swings like a wrecking ball. Still, it could be worse, and it can be managed.
39. Marrieds do it more. Believe it or not, if you're married, you're having more sex than single people. That may not be saying much -- the average number of times that married people have sex is 66 per year. But that's four more than single people do, according to a 2006 report by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago. And by now, you're old enough to know that quality counts more than quantity.
40. Your partner thinks you're hot...just the way you are.
37. Romance can last forever...or at least for a long time. New research shows that long-term relationships can keep their sexual chemistry, intensity and engagement going strong. If they're missing the passion of short-term relationships, that's probably a good thing, according to new research from Stony Brook University in New York. That means they're also free of anxiety and insecurity.
38. It's not you…it's your hormones. How does perimenopause mess up your sex life? Let us count the ways: •Your period lasts forever: you bleed like a stuck pig for seven days, and stain for another three•Your sex drive has shriveled up•You're as dry as dust•Your mood swings like a wrecking ball. Still, it could be worse, and it can be managed.
39. Marrieds do it more. Believe it or not, if you're married, you're having more sex than single people. That may not be saying much -- the average number of times that married people have sex is 66 per year. But that's four more than single people do, according to a 2006 report by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago. And by now, you're old enough to know that quality counts more than quantity.
40. Your partner thinks you're hot...just the way you are.
Jumpstarting Your Love Life
From Men's Health come some suggestions for putting your love life in a higher gear, starting with kissing for 12 seconds.
As a relationship ages, pecks on the cheek become the default, and they're about as erotic as a pair of baggy sweatpants. A long, lingering smooch reintroduces you to each other. Give her two a day: one in the morning before one of you leaves, and one as soon as you're both home. Mouths open. Arms around each other. "If you kiss like that for the rest of your lives, passion will never fade," Cadell says.
As a relationship ages, pecks on the cheek become the default, and they're about as erotic as a pair of baggy sweatpants. A long, lingering smooch reintroduces you to each other. Give her two a day: one in the morning before one of you leaves, and one as soon as you're both home. Mouths open. Arms around each other. "If you kiss like that for the rest of your lives, passion will never fade," Cadell says.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Things You Should Know About Sex Cont.'
31. Nobody wants to hear about it. Spare your friend, sister, college roommate and, especially, your colleague the details of your sex life. It might have been fun to compare notes in your twenties, but as a full adult, it's embarrassing and just plain gross. Put yourself in their shoes -- Do you really want them to picture you and your spouse doing it on the roof?
32. Smutty is sexy. Dirty talk (aka "Aural Sex") is a real turn-on for some couples. It can be as clean or raunchy as you both like. Just make sure you know where your partner draws the line between dirty and disgusting.
33. Casual sex isn't for everyone. Brief casual sexual encounters may sound like a kick, but for many women, they're not a great experience. In a 2008 study by Durham University in England, only 54 percent of the women who'd had a one-night stand had positive feelings about it. Surprise, surprise: 85 percent of men thought it was just dandy.
34. Anything goes. What used to be too "kinky" to contemplate is jolly good if you've finally shed your inhibitions in your old age. What better time to make a sex tape, strip, try out a fantasy or whatever you've secretly wanted to do? Guaranteed, if it's exciting to you, it will be orgasmic for your mate.
35. The toes have it. Next time you go down on your mate, go way down. If you haven't discovered this already, toes are one of the key erogenous zones for both men and women, along with fingers, earlobes and the back of the knees.
32. Smutty is sexy. Dirty talk (aka "Aural Sex") is a real turn-on for some couples. It can be as clean or raunchy as you both like. Just make sure you know where your partner draws the line between dirty and disgusting.
33. Casual sex isn't for everyone. Brief casual sexual encounters may sound like a kick, but for many women, they're not a great experience. In a 2008 study by Durham University in England, only 54 percent of the women who'd had a one-night stand had positive feelings about it. Surprise, surprise: 85 percent of men thought it was just dandy.
34. Anything goes. What used to be too "kinky" to contemplate is jolly good if you've finally shed your inhibitions in your old age. What better time to make a sex tape, strip, try out a fantasy or whatever you've secretly wanted to do? Guaranteed, if it's exciting to you, it will be orgasmic for your mate.
35. The toes have it. Next time you go down on your mate, go way down. If you haven't discovered this already, toes are one of the key erogenous zones for both men and women, along with fingers, earlobes and the back of the knees.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Things You Should Know About Sex Cont.'
For the next 3 days, I'm going to finish up the 40 things you should know about sex by age 40 as listed in an article in Prevention:
26. A little cleavage goes a long way. Do you really think you look hot with your shirt buttoned up to your chin? Or a T-shirt shrouding your tankini? Get over yourself already. You may have stretch marks and spider veins everywhere else, but with the right support, your boobs can still hold their own. So let 'em show, and you'll feel sexier than you have in a long time.
27. Making the first move...is as much a turn-on for you as it is for your partner.
28. It's not you...it's him. Contrary to popular belief, men aren't always ready and raring to go -- especially middle-aged men. Many go through their own form of menopause as their testosterone levels start to drop. After the age of 30, testosterone levels decline approximately 1 percent per year, with a steep drop between the ages of 45 and 50. So if he takes longer or is less gung-ho, go easy on him…and yourself.
29. He doesn't care if you can't quite button your pants.
30. His nipples are as much fun as yours. Imagine if your partner never touched your nipples during foreplay or sex. Ignored them entirely. Well, why are you ignoring his? Men's nipples are as important to them as yours are to you. Slightly more than half of the men surveyed in a 2006 study by the University of Sheffield in England said nipple stimulation caused or enhanced their arousal. But only 17 percent ever asked for it.
26. A little cleavage goes a long way. Do you really think you look hot with your shirt buttoned up to your chin? Or a T-shirt shrouding your tankini? Get over yourself already. You may have stretch marks and spider veins everywhere else, but with the right support, your boobs can still hold their own. So let 'em show, and you'll feel sexier than you have in a long time.
27. Making the first move...is as much a turn-on for you as it is for your partner.
28. It's not you...it's him. Contrary to popular belief, men aren't always ready and raring to go -- especially middle-aged men. Many go through their own form of menopause as their testosterone levels start to drop. After the age of 30, testosterone levels decline approximately 1 percent per year, with a steep drop between the ages of 45 and 50. So if he takes longer or is less gung-ho, go easy on him…and yourself.
29. He doesn't care if you can't quite button your pants.
30. His nipples are as much fun as yours. Imagine if your partner never touched your nipples during foreplay or sex. Ignored them entirely. Well, why are you ignoring his? Men's nipples are as important to them as yours are to you. Slightly more than half of the men surveyed in a 2006 study by the University of Sheffield in England said nipple stimulation caused or enhanced their arousal. But only 17 percent ever asked for it.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Things You Should Know Cont.'
21. Money isn't everything...but when it comes to sex, it certainly helps. Women who had wealthy husbands or boyfriends reported having more orgasms than those who didn't, according to a 2009 survey by Newcastle University in England.
22. Good kissing is a good sign. Studies show that women tend to assess a relationship by how skilled his smooching is. And they're more likely to have sex with a man who does it well.
23. Ladies first. You're likely to be eager -- if not aching -- to give right after you've received. So everyone wins if he gets you off first.
24. Intercourse doesn't cut it. In case you thought you were the only one, you'll want to know that nearly one-third of women never or rarely have orgasms during intercourse. That's because thrusting rarely stimulates the clitoris, the most reliable source for the ultimate pleasure.
25. Less sex means more work. If you're not having sex, what are you doing with your time? Chances are, you're working more. Men and women both turn to work to fill the void when they have sex less than once a week, according to a survey of 32,000 people by the University of Gottingen in Germany. Bo-RING.
22. Good kissing is a good sign. Studies show that women tend to assess a relationship by how skilled his smooching is. And they're more likely to have sex with a man who does it well.
23. Ladies first. You're likely to be eager -- if not aching -- to give right after you've received. So everyone wins if he gets you off first.
24. Intercourse doesn't cut it. In case you thought you were the only one, you'll want to know that nearly one-third of women never or rarely have orgasms during intercourse. That's because thrusting rarely stimulates the clitoris, the most reliable source for the ultimate pleasure.
25. Less sex means more work. If you're not having sex, what are you doing with your time? Chances are, you're working more. Men and women both turn to work to fill the void when they have sex less than once a week, according to a survey of 32,000 people by the University of Gottingen in Germany. Bo-RING.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Things You Should Know Cont.'
16. Nobody does it better than you You can lie around waiting for your partner to bring you to orgasm, but you'll get there a lot faster if you take care of it yourself. When women masturbate, they typically climax in less than 4 minutes. When they're engaged in foreplay and intercourse, it can take 20 minutes. Your best bet for a speedy climax: using a vibrator.
17. Fantasy is fabulous. If your regular sex routine is a little stale, invite Johnny Depp and his pirate hat into bed with you. Losing yourself in a sex fantasy spices up the real thing, and boosts your overall sex drive. Sharing certain fantasies can add even more zip. In a 2004 ABC News poll, more than half of all men and women said they talk about their fantasies to boost their sex lives. The most common fantasies? Unexpected sex, threesomes, and sex at work.
18. If you're too tired, it's too bad for him. The best thing about getting older is that you can do -- or not do -- whatever you want. Say it nicely, and your partner should understand if you've got a headache or you want to watch the "Desperate Housewives" marathon instead of making love.
19. Size matters -- to him A survey of 50,000 heterosexual men and women showed that the vast majority of women (85 percent) felt satisfied by their man's size, while nearly half of all men (45 percent) were unhappy with their package. Let him know he's all you need.
20. He doesn't care if you wear flannel to bed.
17. Fantasy is fabulous. If your regular sex routine is a little stale, invite Johnny Depp and his pirate hat into bed with you. Losing yourself in a sex fantasy spices up the real thing, and boosts your overall sex drive. Sharing certain fantasies can add even more zip. In a 2004 ABC News poll, more than half of all men and women said they talk about their fantasies to boost their sex lives. The most common fantasies? Unexpected sex, threesomes, and sex at work.
18. If you're too tired, it's too bad for him. The best thing about getting older is that you can do -- or not do -- whatever you want. Say it nicely, and your partner should understand if you've got a headache or you want to watch the "Desperate Housewives" marathon instead of making love.
19. Size matters -- to him A survey of 50,000 heterosexual men and women showed that the vast majority of women (85 percent) felt satisfied by their man's size, while nearly half of all men (45 percent) were unhappy with their package. Let him know he's all you need.
20. He doesn't care if you wear flannel to bed.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Things You Should Know Cont.'
11. Honesty: Not always the best policy. So you've thought about cheating -- maybe even stolen a kiss or snuck out for coffee. Should you confess to make up for it? No way. Coming clean only inflicts pain on your partner and damages their sense of trust. If you want to protect him/her and keep your relationship going, swallow your guilt and keep your mouth shut. (I agree only to a point - secrets in a couple's relationship will put limits on the degree of intimacy they share. JC)
12. Love is in the air...as long as your man doesn't shower after his workout. The musky smell of male sweat can be a real turn-on for women. In a 2007 study from the University of California at Berkeley, the scent of a man boosted women's sexual arousal, mood, heart rate, blood pressure and breathing rate.
13. It's never too late Even if having sex is something you do only on birthdays and Bastille Day, you can always get back on the stick. All you have to do is…have sex. You may have to force yourself at first, but the more you do it, the more you want to do it. Start with once a month, then once a week, and who knows? Maybe you'll be a once-a-day person.
14. When it comes to how big, how often, how many times in one night, your friends are lying.
15. It's the next best thing to being there...but not that many forty-somethings know it. According to a 2004 survey by AARP, only 17% of men and 18% of women between the ages of 45 and 49 had phone sex.
12. Love is in the air...as long as your man doesn't shower after his workout. The musky smell of male sweat can be a real turn-on for women. In a 2007 study from the University of California at Berkeley, the scent of a man boosted women's sexual arousal, mood, heart rate, blood pressure and breathing rate.
13. It's never too late Even if having sex is something you do only on birthdays and Bastille Day, you can always get back on the stick. All you have to do is…have sex. You may have to force yourself at first, but the more you do it, the more you want to do it. Start with once a month, then once a week, and who knows? Maybe you'll be a once-a-day person.
14. When it comes to how big, how often, how many times in one night, your friends are lying.
15. It's the next best thing to being there...but not that many forty-somethings know it. According to a 2004 survey by AARP, only 17% of men and 18% of women between the ages of 45 and 49 had phone sex.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Things You Should Know Cont.'
6. It's worth a try. Variety is the spice of life…and of sex. Whether you do it in a hammock or an airplane; on the kitchen floor or in the shower; dressed in leather or in lace, if it's new, it's improved.
7. Porn is hot The idea that women take longer to get aroused just isn't true. Show us some skin and we're off and running. In a 2007 study, women who watched porn got turned on as quickly as men did. Using thermal imaging technology, researchers at McGill University in Montreal found that while watching porn, men became fully aroused in 664.6 seconds (11 minutes), compared to women, who took 743 seconds (12 minutes).
8. Say Ohh instead of Ohm. Craving the calm you get from yoga? Go for an orgasm instead. You feel relaxed after climaxing because you were practically brain-dead while you were doing it. Using scans to measure brain activity, researchers from the Netherlands found that women do not experience emotions such as fear, anxiety and stress during orgasm. When you're in the throes, there's no worrying about the kids' report cards, the weekly grocery list or the pile of bills on your desk. But it's a chicken and egg situation: The only way to reach orgasm is to clear your head of that stuff to begin with.
9. Faking it: pointless. Showing him what you like: brilliant.
10. It's better with your socks on. If your sex life isn't hot, it may be because you're cold. Research from the Netherlands shows that couples with cold feet had a harder time reaching orgasm -- only 50% made it. When couples put on socks, the number jumped to 80 percent.
7. Porn is hot The idea that women take longer to get aroused just isn't true. Show us some skin and we're off and running. In a 2007 study, women who watched porn got turned on as quickly as men did. Using thermal imaging technology, researchers at McGill University in Montreal found that while watching porn, men became fully aroused in 664.6 seconds (11 minutes), compared to women, who took 743 seconds (12 minutes).
8. Say Ohh instead of Ohm. Craving the calm you get from yoga? Go for an orgasm instead. You feel relaxed after climaxing because you were practically brain-dead while you were doing it. Using scans to measure brain activity, researchers from the Netherlands found that women do not experience emotions such as fear, anxiety and stress during orgasm. When you're in the throes, there's no worrying about the kids' report cards, the weekly grocery list or the pile of bills on your desk. But it's a chicken and egg situation: The only way to reach orgasm is to clear your head of that stuff to begin with.
9. Faking it: pointless. Showing him what you like: brilliant.
10. It's better with your socks on. If your sex life isn't hot, it may be because you're cold. Research from the Netherlands shows that couples with cold feet had a harder time reaching orgasm -- only 50% made it. When couples put on socks, the number jumped to 80 percent.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Things You Should Know About Sex
From Prevention, here's the first part of the list of things you should know about sex by age 40:
1. He doesn't care if you've shaved.
2. Wide beats long every time. If you care at all about penis size (and studies show that women are far more into how penises look than how they're hung), you know that width matters more than length.
3. All the girls are doing it. Masturbating, that is. In a 2004 survey by AARP, nearly half the women between the ages of 45 and 49 said they had taken matters into their own hands in the previous 6 months. And many women have used more than just their hands. In a 2009 survey by the University of Indiana, more than half the respondents had used a vibrator at least once, and nearly one in five had used one in the previous month.
4. He likes the cuddling part, too...and not just because he's half comatose when you snuggle up after sex. During lovemaking, both men and women release the chemical oxytocin -- the so-called "cuddle hormone" that helps new moms bond with their babies. So what does than mean for men? Oxytocin boosts their desire for intimacy, along with their feelings of trust, according to a 2008 study by the University of Zurich. And in this case, what's good for the gander is good for the goose.
5. You really can tell a guy's size by his hands. The longer a man's ring finger, the longer his penis, a study by University of Liverpool shows. Both are determined by the amount of testosterone he was exposed to in the womb. If his ring finger is the same size or smaller than his index finger, he received lower levels of testosterone. If it's bigger…watch out!
1. He doesn't care if you've shaved.
2. Wide beats long every time. If you care at all about penis size (and studies show that women are far more into how penises look than how they're hung), you know that width matters more than length.
3. All the girls are doing it. Masturbating, that is. In a 2004 survey by AARP, nearly half the women between the ages of 45 and 49 said they had taken matters into their own hands in the previous 6 months. And many women have used more than just their hands. In a 2009 survey by the University of Indiana, more than half the respondents had used a vibrator at least once, and nearly one in five had used one in the previous month.
4. He likes the cuddling part, too...and not just because he's half comatose when you snuggle up after sex. During lovemaking, both men and women release the chemical oxytocin -- the so-called "cuddle hormone" that helps new moms bond with their babies. So what does than mean for men? Oxytocin boosts their desire for intimacy, along with their feelings of trust, according to a 2008 study by the University of Zurich. And in this case, what's good for the gander is good for the goose.
5. You really can tell a guy's size by his hands. The longer a man's ring finger, the longer his penis, a study by University of Liverpool shows. Both are determined by the amount of testosterone he was exposed to in the womb. If his ring finger is the same size or smaller than his index finger, he received lower levels of testosterone. If it's bigger…watch out!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Creating a Vision
Yesterday I discussed the power of even a small change in transforming your sexual relationship. If you're having trouble identifying changes that would make a difference, you may want to start with creating a vision of the sex life you'd like to have.
Begin with some questions - they can help you figure out the difference between what you really want vs. what you think you 'should' have:
What does good sex feel like?
How long does it take?
How often does it occur?
Where does it take place?
Is it accompanied by words or by silence?
What does it take to get me in the mood?
These are just a few questions to get you started. Getting a clear picture of what you want will most likely generate some specific ideas about how to get there.
Begin with some questions - they can help you figure out the difference between what you really want vs. what you think you 'should' have:
What does good sex feel like?
How long does it take?
How often does it occur?
Where does it take place?
Is it accompanied by words or by silence?
What does it take to get me in the mood?
These are just a few questions to get you started. Getting a clear picture of what you want will most likely generate some specific ideas about how to get there.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
One Small Change
When your sex life leaves much to be desired, it can feel like a monumental effort to revive it. Fortunately, one small change is often all that's needed to trigger a positive spiral.
Think about a change you could make that might make a difference in your own desire or that of your partner. It could be a belief about yourself or just focusing on what made you first fall in love with your partner. It could be a decision to go one whole day without finding fault with your partner or a decision to give him or her a passionate kiss at the end of the work day.
You're probably quite familiar with negative spirals. Don't forget your power to create a positive one.
Think about a change you could make that might make a difference in your own desire or that of your partner. It could be a belief about yourself or just focusing on what made you first fall in love with your partner. It could be a decision to go one whole day without finding fault with your partner or a decision to give him or her a passionate kiss at the end of the work day.
You're probably quite familiar with negative spirals. Don't forget your power to create a positive one.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Top 10 Best Nude Beaches
Just in case you want to let it all hang out at the beach, here are a few ideas for your next vacation (Courtesy of AOL Travel Channel):
Black’s Beach, La Jolla, CA
Baker Beach, SF, CA
Haulover Beach, Sunny Isles (Miami), FL
Little Beach, Maui, HI
Moshup Beach, Martha’s Vineyard, MA
Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook Gateway National Rec Area, NJ
Kismet and Lighthouse Beaches, Fire Island, NY
Collins Beach, Sauvie Island, Oregon
Hippie Hollow, Lake Travis, Texas
Mazo Beach, Mazomanie, WI
Black’s Beach, La Jolla, CA
Baker Beach, SF, CA
Haulover Beach, Sunny Isles (Miami), FL
Little Beach, Maui, HI
Moshup Beach, Martha’s Vineyard, MA
Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook Gateway National Rec Area, NJ
Kismet and Lighthouse Beaches, Fire Island, NY
Collins Beach, Sauvie Island, Oregon
Hippie Hollow, Lake Travis, Texas
Mazo Beach, Mazomanie, WI
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Sex in the Middle of the Night
According to a poll on tressugar.com, sex in the middle of the night is very popular. The results were as follows:
70% of the people polled loved having sex in the middle of the night and felt that there was no better reason to lose sleep.
16% said that they were completely uninterested in sex during the night and would rather wait until morning.
14% hadn’t had sex in the middle of the night, but were open to trying it.
If this survey accurately reflects the preferences of the greater population (and not just the light sleepers), then the middle of the night might be a good time to get something going. For couples living with children, it may be one of the few times you can be relatively assured of privacy. If you haven't given it a try, talk to your partner to determine his/her interest. Or, if you're not afraid of your partner suffocating you with your own pillow, initiate sex tonight and see if you get a positive response.
70% of the people polled loved having sex in the middle of the night and felt that there was no better reason to lose sleep.
16% said that they were completely uninterested in sex during the night and would rather wait until morning.
14% hadn’t had sex in the middle of the night, but were open to trying it.
If this survey accurately reflects the preferences of the greater population (and not just the light sleepers), then the middle of the night might be a good time to get something going. For couples living with children, it may be one of the few times you can be relatively assured of privacy. If you haven't given it a try, talk to your partner to determine his/her interest. Or, if you're not afraid of your partner suffocating you with your own pillow, initiate sex tonight and see if you get a positive response.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Sex Before Sleep
For lots of people, sex only happens - when it happens - as an afterthought right before going to sleep. I'm not suggesting that's necessarily a bad thing, but in addition to it being a low-energy time that works against passion and creativity, it may actually interfere with your sleep.
For women especially, getting intimate right before bed may leave you revved up instead of relaxed. If you notice that this is the case, you may want to consider changing your sex schedule to the mornings or early evenings, and giving yourself time to unwind afterward.
For women especially, getting intimate right before bed may leave you revved up instead of relaxed. If you notice that this is the case, you may want to consider changing your sex schedule to the mornings or early evenings, and giving yourself time to unwind afterward.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Afternoon Sex
For most people, sex in the afternoon might prove difficult aside from the occasional Sunday brunch in bed. With busy work schedules, the demands of a family, and an endless list of responsibilities, sex is often the last thing you think of in the middle of the day. But, maybe that is the problem.
Maybe sex in the middle of the afternoon is exactly what you need to get a break. Wouldn’t it perhaps give you more energy to get through the workday if you spent your hour lunch break connecting to your partner? If your kids are in school and you have the house to yourself, the afternoon might be the perfect time to have sex-at least every once in a while. Plan ahead with your partner first thing in the morning and maybe the anticipation alone will elevate your mood. Hot midday sex couldn’t hurt, either.
Maybe sex in the middle of the afternoon is exactly what you need to get a break. Wouldn’t it perhaps give you more energy to get through the workday if you spent your hour lunch break connecting to your partner? If your kids are in school and you have the house to yourself, the afternoon might be the perfect time to have sex-at least every once in a while. Plan ahead with your partner first thing in the morning and maybe the anticipation alone will elevate your mood. Hot midday sex couldn’t hurt, either.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Morning Sex
Askmen.com asserts that one of the basic physiological differences between men and women is their enjoyment of morning sex. It's pretty well-known that men often experience an erection just before waking, which is actually due to a phenomenon called nocturnal penile tumescence. Obviously starting the day sexually stimulated can make keeping the mood a little easier.
This is not to say that some women don’t enjoy morning sex. Not only can sexual desire be higher in the morning due to hormone levels, but a good night’s sleep can provide energy and interest that might not otherwise be there at the end of a long day. A hectic schedule and exhaustion are very powerful desire killers which can be avoided first thing in the morning.
Maybe tomorrow is a good day to set your alarm a little earlier.
This is not to say that some women don’t enjoy morning sex. Not only can sexual desire be higher in the morning due to hormone levels, but a good night’s sleep can provide energy and interest that might not otherwise be there at the end of a long day. A hectic schedule and exhaustion are very powerful desire killers which can be avoided first thing in the morning.
Maybe tomorrow is a good day to set your alarm a little earlier.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
When Do You Like to Have Sex?
We all have times when we are more responsive to sex and have higher natural desire. Some people really enjoy morning sex while others have no libido when they first wake up and shudder at the thought of kissing with morning breath. Our preferences have a great deal to do with not only our hormones but our age, gender, and family life. Opportunity and desire must both be in harmony before any kind of sexual encounter can occur.
This week, I'll be exploring the different times during the day when people have sex. I encourage you as you read this week to open your mind to new possibilities. It cannot only add excitement to your sex life, but might bring your desire and response cycle into more alignment with your partner's.
This week, I'll be exploring the different times during the day when people have sex. I encourage you as you read this week to open your mind to new possibilities. It cannot only add excitement to your sex life, but might bring your desire and response cycle into more alignment with your partner's.
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