Addressing Relationship Changes

Your partner may understandedly be confused and upset when the rules of the relationship seem to change mid-stream. When couples build a life together, they're living with some unwritten and unspoken contracts - who initiates lovemaking, who makes the decisions, who apologizes first after a fight, whose job it is to plan social outings, etc. etc.

When women begin claiming more power in their relationships, the old contracts may no longer work. But rather than turning into a shrew and attacking your partner for doing what he's always done, you need to renegotiate the rules. Explain how you're changing and what you need to see change in the relationship. Acknowledge the difficulty your partner may have in accomodating to your shifting needs. Emphasize how important the relationship is to you, and stress your interest in preserving intimacy between you.

Change is tough, but you'll have a better shot at getting your needs met and holding onto your relationship if you approach the changes directly and positively.