Past Lovers

Do you talk about past lovers with your partner or sometimes mention something an ex did in bed with you that you really liked? If so, you're running the risk of creating fear and insecurity in your partner that's really unnecessary. Not that you need to pretend that you don't have a sexual history. It's just that sex is such an intimate act that it's safer to keep it as present-focused as possible.

Most people worry some about measuring up in their lovemaking skills. We each need to feel that our partner enjoys sex with us more than anyone they've ever been with in the past. Feeding insecurity doesn't usually make your partner work harder to please you. The best lover is one that feels confident and special, not one that is worried about how they compare to the lovers in your past.